SPRING DAYS

SPRING DAYS!

Firstly, I wanted to apologise for the lack of activity on my blog over the past month. From starting a new job, to struggling with the up-coming end of my University module, I have had little to no time to blog! I've hated being so busy when the weather has been gorgeous! There is nothing I would rather do than read a good novel in the sun, with the view of our blossom tree blooming in the garden. Yet, as I have an end-of-module assignment due in little over 3 weeks, any moment where I can catch the sun is welcomed. I just hope this beautiful weather is giving us a snapshot of what we should expect from summer this year.

With the start of spring well and truly here, I felt it was important to take onboard the motto "Out with the old. In with the new" in all aspects of my life. Firstly, I did this by succeeding in getting a new job!

Having applied for an interview at the beginning of the year, I never thought my anxiety would have allowed me to complete a 4 hour training session and actually go through with beginning a new job - a scary experience for anybody, even without the added stress of anxiety. But once again, with the support from family and friends, I proved to myself that I can conquer anything I put my mind to. It hasn't been easy and I have spent several mornings physically being sick before heading out the house for work, but I finally feel comfortable in my amazing work place with my brilliant colleagues who are all so supportive. I still have moments in my new job where my anxiety takes over and I wonder why I pushed myself, causing so much extra stress. However, I know the benefits of going to work and pushing myself far outweigh the stressful moments. As each day I push myself, I know I am beating my anxiety and getting stronger overall in my mental state. I have managed to achieve something I never thought possible, even 6 months ago - working and feeling like an "ordinary" 19-year old. I feel with the start of spring, I am finally on my road to becoming more settled in my mental health, with more good days than bad days, after 6 years of struggling with crippling anxiety and panic attacks. Who wouldn't feel more settled when your work place looks like this?!!?!?

 With Spring and "new beginnings" came the chance to start afresh and begin spending more time with my family, something that I didn't feel well enough to do before. I love my weekly lunch dates and coffee mornings with my Mum, a chance when the two of us can sit down and enjoy each others company without the stresses of every-day life ruining communication between us. Over the past 6 years, she has been my absolute rock, and continues to take everything I throw at her on my worst days. I wouldn't have got to the position I am in at the moment, being able to enjoy lunch dates and quality time, without her continuing support. Now, I look forward every week to our coffee sessions!

After watching a poignant video by Carli Bybel on clothes recycling and the importance of helping our planet, I felt inspired and influenced by the meaning of spring, to de-clutter my bedroom cupboards, wardrobes and dresser...to make space for the new of course!! Anybody who hasn't watched the video I'm commenting on, please find the link here. It really put me into the spirit of rummaging through my wardrobe and removing the clothes that perhaps don't fit, that I haven't worn in forever, or I just didn't really like in the first place when I purchased. I also felt having a de-cluttering session really helped clear my mind and not just wardrobe space. I used it as the chance to re-organised my room and make my space more me-friendly in order to create a perfect study-come-relaxing room which I love being in, whilst doing some good for the planet and recycling my unwanted items.

My overall message in this post is to think about what things in your life you wish to change and instead of whinging about it, MAKE the changes and improve your lives.

Love,

Hannah x

Breaking the Stereotype

Breaking the Stereotype

Being a student with The Open University entails masses of work behind the scenes which people tend not to realise, and although I had thoroughly investigated this beforehand, it definitely took me by complete surprise.

I have had conversations with several people regarding my decision to become a member of The Open University, especially when I first came upon the decision during the end of my Sixth Form life. Many of my friends were planning on attending “brick” universities – I was over the moon for them, but this just wasn’t the pathway I wanted for my life and my career. As a matter of fact, I didn’t actually know what I wanted until I began my studies in October 2015. Some may say at nearly 19 years of age, this is rather late in your academic life to begin thinking about possible career paths, and it wasn’t as though I hadn’t thought about them, in comparison to, I hadn’t decided on which path was most suited to me.

It blew me away, the amount of people who made comments such as, “Do you get a real degree?” “But this is only a practice run for Uni, isn’t it?” “Surely that is so much easier than a ‘normal’ university?” Before I begin to answer these questions, I think it’s important to define what a ‘normal’ university actually is. Trust me, you will get many responses to this. You can use the Dictionaries definition of a University:

 “an institution of higher learning providing facilities for teaching and research and authorized to grant academic degrees; specifically :  one made up of an undergraduate division which confers bachelor's degrees and a graduate division which comprises a graduate school and professional schools each of which may confer master's degrees and doctorates”

But, in simpler terms, here is how I would define a university;

•   Enables you to gain a degree through study and research
• Enriches your knowledge and understanding
• Broadens your capabilities 
•   Something that makes you more aware of the society around you
•    A place to carve friendships and develop social skills 
•     A place of diversity, which is challenging and rewarding

Honestly, I can’t imagine a university, better equipped than The Open University to fulfil my definitions. If this is the case however, then why do I (and many other OU students), still get plagued with the same questions regarding its authenticity as a place of higher education?

The answer is simple: STEROTYPES.

Before I had established an opinion or an understanding of what The Open University entails, I sat on this high-horse of judgement, creating a personal stereotype about how this type of distance-learning works. It’s bound to be easier right? WRONG. Now-a-days, I think it’s wrong to assume that the only way to carve a successful career for yourself is in the shape of these “brick” universities who have specialised tutors, guidance in the form of lectures and end-of-year examinations. Not forgetting the prestigious status of being a member of “The University of….”. Suffering with anxiety, I did look into attending a ‘normal’ university before coming to the realisation that it just wasn’t for me – attending lectures for hours at a time, each and every day, was not something I could have managed at that time in my life. If I’m brutally honest, YES, I did believe The Open University would be the ‘easy option’ of achieving a degree – something which I soon realised would not be the case.

I am enrolled on 2 modules currently - each module lasts about 6 months (AA100 & A105 will make up YEAR 1). Combining both these modules, I have a total of 10 books, all with corresponding Audio CD/DVD’s. This breaks down into 41 chapters of reading, with an additional 7 set books. All this work, including 14 assignments and 1 exam, in less than 12 months.

Not to mention the fact it is completely independent, with little help from your assigned tutor unless you request it.

An Open University student, compared to a “brick” university student, has the struggle of teaching themselves the entire module. We have the challenge of having little direct tutor contact, unless we decide to email or call for help. This means as a student, we have to unravel any mis-understandings ourselves, or through a forum pathway. We have tutorials at our local university campuses about once a month (some modules may have only 3 a year) where we are taught specific pieces of module material to aid our knowledge. On the other hand, a “brick” university have constant teaching lectures to help with their studies.

It’s a challenging process, but one that I am very glad I have taken. The main point of this blog post, is as the title suggests – a chance to break the stereotypes that seem to be connected to the OU. I have met some of the most hard-working, diligent and conscientious people through my studies, who have come across challenges and pushed through them. Yet we are still classed as the lazy university. Trust me, we are anything but.  

Love, Hannah

The most important thing I've learnt...

The most important thing I've learnt...

At the end of 2015, I was encouraged by a friend to sit down and contemplate what I wanted to achieve through 2016. I stated the usual resolutions made (and forgotten within the first week of January) by the majority of people, such as; being skinner, having better hair, earning more money, etc. I assumed these resolutions were "normal" resolutions to make, to better myself in the up-coming year, but my friend really gave me food for thought in her reply - How are those resolutions contributing to betting yourself as a person?The simple answer? They weren't.

This friend made me realise that I was conforming to the public's view of what I SHOULD do to better myself, instead of what suits me. In order to better myself, I needed to do something personal to me, that I could challenge myself with and achieve in my own time. I also find it important that resolutions aren't something you give up within the first few weeks of the new year - I wanted these to be something that I could continue throughout the year, and perhaps further afield than this. I sat down and really thought about what I wanted to achieve and here is a little peek into my thoughts. I hope they may influence some of you to begin bettering yourself and really, just looking after yourself and putting yourself first.

Work - I am a member of the Open University, completing a degree in English Language and Literature. A big goal of mine was to complete the first year of this degree (which finishes in September) to the best of my ability, in the most organised way possible. I adore organisation, and I could spend hours printing, highlighting, sticky-noting and filing. Yet, when in a busy period of study, come assignment time, my organisation goes out the window. A key resolution for me was staying organised, as I find this the best way to achieve the highest grades and not forget where I was heading. I feel I have achieved this somewhat already, as its now March and my filing is up-to-date, I have completed all my study chapters and I have submitted my next two assignments. I feel calm and collected about my study and I hope to continue the hard work I have put into my studies since the beginning of October.

Health - I think 'Health' is something people put aside when it comes to resolutions, when in-fact it is the most important thing to focus on when bettering yourself as a person. I live firm by the fact that whatever you place into your body creates who you are, so my goal was to ensure what I was putting in my body was the best things for me. This included my biggest weakness - not drinking enough water. Being a Coca-Cola addict, water was just a boring drink which I would never pick over something sugary and tasty. However, I didn't realise the importance of drinking a simple glass of water to my body. It reduces fatigue, flushes out toxins, improves skin, improves the immune system and is a natural headache remedy. All this from a small glass of clear liquid? THAT IS FREE. I think its ridiculous of me not to start drinking it before when it has so many benefits for health.

Myself and my oldest friend, several years ago.

Friends - When I left Sixth Form to begin University, my fear was losing touch with the friends I had made there. In the first few months, I made a huge effort to keep in contact with this friends and work hard to retain friendships I had made over the last seven year. At the end of last year, I stopped trying so hard when the people who don't try hard for me. I've come to realise with the Open University, it doesn't matter how many friends you have. I have a select few who I know I can run to when I have a problem, need someone to make me laugh or even just need a conversation with. I was spending so much of my time and energy trying to hold together relationships I had created when I was 12 years old, and had continued due to the normality of being friends with those people. It wasn't until I left my secondary school, that I realised things were different. I have kept in contact with one friend from my secondary school, purely because we both continue to make an effort to keep our friendship alive. I could count my closest friends on one hand, but that's the way I feel it should be. I am content and happy with the friendships I have now, compared to the backstabbing, unrealistic friendships I used to have with many more people. I feel the friends around me encourage me to become a better person, and they are all I need.

Challenge - Those who know me, know I have suffered with crippling anxiety and panic attacks for 6 years throughout my schooling and social life. This has effected my every-day life, stopping me from just walking to the local supermarket, going on public transport or even sitting in a restaurant with friends. I have suffered with this for so long, that I felt it was time to take a stand and do something I should have tried a long time ago. To stop letting my life revolve around how I am feeling. Of course, having suffered for as long as I can remember with this, being put on medication and attending Psychological therapy at the hospital for several years, this hasn't been an easy process. Nor did I expect it to be, hence why this segment is called "challenge". I thought the best way to start with this, was to begin actually looking after myself, rather than hiding myself away, eating rubbish and sleeping all the time.

I began getting up even if I didn't feel like it, getting dressed and becoming presentable, rather than sitting in pyjamas all day feeling sorry for myself and my condition. Of course, several times I physically couldn't bring myself to do this, but I think that's okay within reason. I made sure that I began going out every day, even if it was just to walk my puppy or walk to work. Getting out and about actually helped me feel better and more human - a feeling I had been lacking for a very long time. Once I felt confident enough, I did something very rash and applied for a new job, as many of you might know. I forced myself into the interview with the help of my mother and a lovely cousin of mine, who was instrumental in encouraging me through this process. I was vomiting before the interview but I achieved it and managed to get the job!! This gave me a massive confidence boost - enough for me to sit in a 4 hour training session, something that is my worse nightmare, as I was taken out of the classroom environment in school to be by myself in a separate room. But I managed it and pulled through. Now I cannot wait to start my new job! But the moral is, unless you push yourself and challenge yourself, you will never know the strength you have inside yourself to achieve. Of course, I still suffer with anxiety and panic attacks, but they are reducing purely because I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone and also looking after myself for once.
Happiness - My last rule for 2016, which I like to think I am achieving due to a combination of the above rules I made, is to be happy. People rely on their happiness through other people, whether that be a friend, family member, boyfriend/girlfriend. But I like to call this 'fake happiness'. I think the only way you can truly be happy, is if you make the happiness yourself, and are confident in your ability to achieve. It's being grateful for everything life throws at you, and making the worst situations more tolerable. And slowly, I think I am learning that.

Love, Hannah

RECOMMENDATION

Recommendation

I have suffered with anxiety for over six-years and I have bought countless fads which claim to work in "reducing stress and anxiety induced symptoms". None of them have worked, much to my disappointment. Anxiety is a psychological illness, meaning its unlikely anything but psychological treatment such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, will reduce symptoms. However, I came across a spray called "Rescue Remedy: Comfort and Reassure". I had tried everything else on the market so I thought I may as well try something new that I'd never come across before.

This particular spray claims to be effective in reducing high levels of situational anxiety and improve mood in every-day stressful situations. At the point when I started using this, I had some stressful events coming up such as driving lessons, driving tests and a job interview. What a perfect time to try out the product!!

Rescue Remedy is made by flower essences (rock rose, impatiens, clematic, star of Bethlehem, cherry plum) which involves placing flowers in water and leaving them to infuse in the sun. So this is a purely natural substance for anybody who doesn't like the idea of putting unknown medicine into their body. It can be bought over-the-counter and is perfectly safe. It is used by spraying 2 drops onto the tongue during stressful intervals throughout the day. I used this for two weeks and WOW. I am 100% adamant that the only reason I managed to get through my driving test and my job interview, was due to this tiny bottle of spray. It's been life-changing. Once you spray it onto the tongue, you cannot feel it working. Yet once you go out into stressful situation you begin to notice that you are coping and dealing with things much differently than you normally would. I love this effect as it feels very natural, rather than anxiety meds which put you under a foggy spell (I've tried these also). I will continue using this for as long as I feel it works, as I truly believe it has been helping me with my anxiety. I believe everyone suffering with anxiety or stress should try this to see if it helps reduce some symptoms and make life a little easier for you.

Love, Hannah

(Of course, please do not rely on this to change your life or entire mind-set. Anxiety needs proper medical attention in the form of GP's and Psychologists. Please do not take this without consultation on your disorder, so this can be properly treated combined with this spray)

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

The Most Important Thing

Having seen many posts from other bloggers on "January favourites", I thought for February I would write a post on not only my favourite thing for January, but the thing that has been my favourite for the past six-years. This isn't a piece of clothing from a brand's "NEW IN" collection. This isn't the latest make-up product or Netflix series sweeping the country. This is a living, breathing, feisty, stubborn little girl who has taken up the biggest place in my heart since day one, over six-years ago.

Anybody who owns a dog will understand the complete joy they bring; greeting you with wagging tails and smiley faces when you walk in, having only left them an hour ago. Seeing their little faces first thing in the morning waking you up. Playing fetch after a long day, and seeing the joyon your dog's face, making you realise it really is the simple things that can bring you the most happiness. Having your dog cuddle into your lap because they trust you to keep them safe. Watching your dog dream and seeing them twitch, shake and shiver in their sleep. The way the fur behind their ears stay puppy silky soft. When they bring you all their toys, one at a time, thinking they are making you happy. Watching them pick through all their toys for the one they specifically want. When they look behind during a walk, just to check you are still there. When they smell of sleep just after waking up, and they become so delicate, rather than the rough-and-tumble puppy you had only an hour previously when playing. When they stroke your leg with their paw, when they want attention.

It is the most rewarding experience of my

life, looking after my puppy, watching her grow and learn new things. She is way more important to me than a piece of make up.

Love, Hannah

I'M A BUSY BEE!

I'M A BUSY BEE!

This is the first time I've had chance to sit down all week and really focus on my university studies, and updating my blog. As many of you will notice, I have completely changed my blog design, fonts and layout, which I feel was much needed! As well as this, I felt it would be good to fill you in on my adventures this week because as the title suggests, I've been hard at work!

Monday

My week began with a fairly stressful activity, first thing on Monday morning; A DRIVING LESSON. Many of you who have learnt to drive/ are learning as we speak, will understand the pressure of them and how stressful they can be. I've been taking my driving lessons for one year, and this week was extra stressful due to the amount of lessons I had before my approaching test next week. It went well however, with minimal screw ups on my parallel park, reverse around the corner, turn in the road and bay park. My Monday then continued with focusing on my next university chapter, The Art of Benin! Luckily, this I found interesting so it was less of a chore than previous chapters!

Tuesday

Tuesday was my quietest day of the week and a chance to really sit and focus on my university studies, which recently have been taking a backseat to other priorities such as work, driving and socialising (Sorry OU!!). The luckiest thing about being a member of The Open University is.. I GET TO DO WORK IN BED. Tuesday I spend the entire day, up until early evening battling my way through Benin. Successfully, I managed to complete over half the chapter in two days - A new record for me!

Wednesday

Wednesday, again, began with another gruelling driving lesson at 9:15am. Way too early for my liking! I'm more of an 11am girl. After another surprising good lesson, it was time for a long catch up with one of my oldest friends. We had lots of laughter and gossiped for well over an hour, which was definitely some well needed relaxation time away from other pressures. Ater this unfortunately finished, it was back to the books! I spent another two hours making my way through the chapter and climbed in bed exhausted.

Thursday

Another morning driving lesson occurred, followed by going into work to get things done before the weekend. After spending several hours working hard, I dragged myself home and completed the rest of the Benin chapter for university and began on my first chapter of my new course, which I picked up on January 30th. Having been a part-time student on one module since October 2015, it has been a big jump to a full-time student in January, moving onto two modules alongside each other. Unfortunately, I have zero motivation for my first chapter in the second module I picked up, as its a complete snooze-fest. I'm hoping it wil become more enjoyable!

Friday

Friday was a lovely quiet day, starting with a fantastic lie-in and brilliant hot shower. I got dressed, packed my handbag and met my mum for coffee in a small local café. There we discussed books (my favourite thing!) and general other topics of conversations that popped up. This then followed with more university study, attempting to complete my chapter before deadline day on Saturday. Also, I receieved my mark back for my 4th Assignment and achieved a 76!! Considering the pass mark is 40, which I was well over, I'm very pleased with how I completed my assignment and want to move forward to achieve an even better grade. I finished my busy week with a Yoga session just before bed, ensuring a perfect night sleep!

I hope you have all had an enjoyable and productive week.

Love, Hannah

January Tumblr Favourites!

JANUARY FAVOURITES

I adore Tumblr. Simple as that. I spend hours per day re-blogging and commenting on posts, which creative people have beautiful taken to inspire all of us. This has obviously amounted to masses of posts per month, and I wanted to share the few I felt most inspiring and beautiful through January. So, here are my January favourites. I hope you find them as beautiful as I do.

This quote really stood out to me as it has many meaning behind it, unseen from the outset. Some people think money is the only thing that can cause happiness and make them rich. However, being rich isn't about how much money someone has. Being rich to me, is having my friends and family there whenever I need them. It's having their support, love and sense of pride about myself and what I'm achieving. That's what being rich is. Not what you have physically. But what you have emotionally.

I don't think there is anything to be said about this photography. I love the vibrant pink colours, the white of the box as a background. I find this photo so pretty and delicious!

I found this photograph incredibly strange but amazing. It shows nature, and the true beauty of what it offers us. And that's something that cannot be ignored.

This photography I found gorgeous. It sums up everything I would like my work desk to be - beautiful, creative, inspiring. The little sketches show a creative mind at work, drawing and pencilling their thoughts as they arrive, pinning them up to remind themselves of that day, that time, and that thought.

 

I loved this photograph as I found it seriously pretty, and traditional. I adore girly tops like this which are super feminine and lacy. Combined with the cute little necklace, this is the ultimate feminine look.

I love mini sketches such as these, and I wish I had the artistic ability to manage these myself. Instead, I blog them 24/7 and brainwash myself with pretty images!

There is nothing more beautiful and simple than letters. I feel many of us lead lives that are too busy, too technically involved. We all need to step back every so often and reflect. I think letters are the perfect way to do this. Whether you write a letter to yourself in a journal to remember a certain event or emotional, or whether its a letter to somebody special, I think the process of writing and reading letters should never be taken for granted.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love golden, brown, metallic colours such as this. I love the shin and vibrancy of this eye shadow!

I think this tea set is just so beautiful. As simple as that.

What's in My Bag?

What's in My Bag?

My handbag is full of knickknacks from my everyday life, and the content of my bag definitely shows a lot about myself.  This blog post was a chance to throw away all the crumpled receipts, count my change and of course, filter through the content of my bag:

This is my current bag of choice for my everyday adventures! It was from Primark and I absolutely adore it. It's very sturdy, holding its shape well, whilst being large enough with enough pockets to hold all my everyday essentials!

I never leave the house without my daily planner, it holds my life together in one neat pink package! Its a week-to-week view style which I prefer, as I can see my weeks laid out simply. It is a re-fillable style also, making it easy to replenish the planner when it runs out.

I always keep a notebook and pen in my handbag for organisation. As I am a University student, its important for me to be able to do my work wherever I am and a pocket size notebook is perfect for jotting down ideas, and planning my next study steps on the go!

I bought these Study Skills booklets to aid my University degree. I love the fact they are pocket sized and can easily fit inside my handbag to ensure I can study on the go!

I always have a small deodorant in my handbag to freshen up during the day, if my perfume has dulled. Also, I adore the Fat Face body lotion to ensure a moisturised face and hands at all times whilst busy and out of the house. The same applies for the Nivea lip balm which I love due to the lack of taste, application and the goodness it does to nourish my lips on cold days!

Another thing I tend to keep with my in my handbag, is a small roll on perfume if my perfume has dulled throughout the day. I also always keep a 4 Head roll on stick on hand for headaches, as I like to avoid taking tablets whenever I can. Another thing I always take with me is plasters, as I have very sensitive feet when it comes to shoes!! Plasters are always advisable just in case!

Having a puppy, my jean pockets, coat pockets and of course, hand bag, becomes littered with poo bags! Luckily these are fragranced so smell nice enough to leave in my bag!

I don't leave the house without my Beats Ear Bud Headphones. They are fantastic! The sound quality is incredible and they really do dull out all outside static noise which is just what is needed when on public transport, or you need to block the world out! With my love for photography, I always keep a spare memory card with me also in case I use mine up which usually occurs. I never want to be caught short!

In this winter weather at the moment, when its absolutely freezing, I can't leave the house without my plain black, touch screen gloves. They are fabulous for keeping the cold out, and I don't need to take them off when sending a quick text or email!

Keys, keys, keys! I think these are a given.

Another essential but I adore my Kate Hill purse. This was bought for me on a birthday, and being my favourite colour I fell in love with it! Its the perfect fit for all my cards, receipts and coins, with many compartments, whilst being small enough to fit in my bag without taking up too much space.